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Live Free or Pie Hard

Report by Gerry McDonnell

When the wife was pregnant with tiny Goliath, she asked if I’d nonetheless uncover her desirable when she put on weight. “A lot more weight,” I instinctively corrected.”

It is perfectly understandable if a lady’s bodyweight yo-yo’s right after this kind of a stressful function, but with the spouse, it merely yo’d. There is no excuse for a Premiership footballer to ‘tubby up’ in such an outlandish vogue, so I wish there’s no reality to the rumours emanating from Ewood Park.

It really is alleged that a number of senior pros grew to become hooked on pie and mash throughout the summer break. If the phrase on the road is right, the players were so fixated with this culinary abomination, they saved a substantial sum of Fray Bentos pies in the club canteen.

Mark Hughes was understandably livid when he discovered the top secret stash and immediately put a lock on the freezer.

Robbie Savage regarded as the manager’s act a blatant violation of his civil liberties and threatened to depart the club if he wasn’t granted instant accessibility to the forbidden pastries. Mark Hughes stood his floor though, and refused to release the pie-key.

The 6/four for Middlesbrough to open their marketing campaign with a win over Blackburn is as delicious a deal with as anything at all locked absent in Sparky’s freezer of shame.

I was very astonished when the news broke that Robert Earnshaw had joined Derby the minor Welshman obviously misunderstood when asked if he would like to join the Rams. Earnie can support Derby get a position off Pompey at nine/4.

Roy Keane was a fierce competitor on the pitch: he went by way of far more footballers than Gemma Atkinson. He’ll require the very same fighting spirit from his staff when they face a formidable Tottenham side I’m tucking in to the Spuds at 13/10.

Newcastle have gone down the multinational street in their lookup for new signings. Large Sam has signed a Brazilian, a Spaniard, a Cameroonian, a Czech, an Aussie, an Englishman and a Scouser. It wouldn’t surprise me if he made a move for the promising Russian worldwide, Ivan Terbungoutofit. The Premier League laptop or computer has mischievously sent Newcastle to Bolton for their opening fixture Massive Sam has it in the bag at 2/one.

I have a whole lot of faith in Andy ‘Magic’ Johnson, even though he’s yet to grasp the ‘staying on his feet’ trick. I’ll be generating the eight/eleven for an Everton win more than Wigan vanish.

If given the choice to play for Chelsea at Stamford Bridge or symbolize a George Bush eleven in Iran, I’d possibly plump for the latter as the threat of injuries diminishes considerably. Jose should be cursed I’m taking Birmingham at 11/two to snatch a shock draw.

I’m locating it difficult to choose a winner in the West Ham v Manchester City match. I asked the spouse for her view, but she’s also sitting on the fence. I’m now praying for the draw at 9/4, as I need money for a new fence.

Aston Villa supporters could not be happier with the progress manufactured by Randy Lerner and Martin O’Neill. The giant might even now be sleeping, but he’s becoming poked with a pointy stick. Villa are overpriced at 3/one to kick the time off with a win about Liverpool.

Fulham followers must be devastated. Mohammed Al Fayed gave his manager the green mild to signal established internationals and Sanchez tucked him up on a technicality. The Cottagers have by no means won absent at Arsenal the Gooners are the weekend banker at four/11.

I was disturbed to examine that Wayne Rooney has outrageously had his chest waxed. There’s absolutely nothing incorrect with connecting with your feminine facet, but only when you are trying to uncover shelter for the little beard-hunter. There’s absolutely nothing camp about the 1/4 for a Manchester United win more than Looking at.

I just hope Ryan Giggs doesn’t stick to Rooney’s lead, as the repercussions of dwindling wax reserves could prove catastrophic for little corporations. A minor accer on Tottenham, Aston Villa, Arsenal and Manchester United at 13/1 will provide a lifeline to those most under risk.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

This is the ode to Hel

Post by Gerry McDonnell

I’ve by no means been particularly lucky in love. As a end result of a extreme lack of self confidence, I can only approach women following a skinful of lager when the beer goggles are on. Even Kermit would have turned his nose up at some of the pigs I’ve attempted my luck with.

I elevated the bar marginally higher when I emailed Helen Chamberlain to request for a date, but she just blew me off.

I did uncover fleeting really like with a diminutive female called Dot. But just like the regrettable Martin Jol, I was dumped via a text message. I’m completely more than her now although I buried her underneath the patio. After substantial digging I’ve learned 13/8 for a Tottenham win about Middlesbrough.

Hire-a-quote WAG Cheryl Cole claimed that her ‘husband’ didn’t take pleasure in his final days at Arsenal as he thought that his foreign staff-mates ended up all ‘talking about him’. I uncover it amazing that a proficient footballer with a loving spouse could conclude up such a paranoid wreck and Ashley Cole is undoubtedly a talented footballer. The four/nine for a Chelsea win above Wigan is practical.

Steve Bruce is certainly sensation the pressure. The potato-headed manger couldn’t bear to observe as Birmingham played Wigan final week despite the fact that this is not always an uncommon phenomenon amongst the regulars of St Andrews. Everton can be backed at eight/11 towards Birmingham that’s unusually exhilarating.

It is no coincidence that Arsenal are producing champagne football following dropping the bitter Lehmann. I feel the morale-boosting team huddle is a significant element in the Gunners’ enhanced type, or it might just be an possibility to discuss about Ashley Cole. Everybody really should be talking about the 6/4 for an Arsenal win about Manchester United.

Sam Allardyce will go head to head with Harry Redknapp at St James’ Park, in a match that the gutter press are labelling ‘Panorama II’. I’ve been investigating the background to this fixture and I’ve found out that Pompey previous won in Newcastle in 1949. The Toon can keep on their practical ownership at eleven/ten.

A member of the Royal family members has allegedly been caught up in a sex scandal. I just hope it’s not Charlie, as i have totally no interest in hippophilia. One particular set of Royals who won’t be heading down is Reading through they’ll leave Fulham with a stage at nine/four.

Aston Villa appear to be certainties at 1/two versus a woeful Derby County. The Villa have seemed fearsome on their individual patch this season, whilst the Rams are conceding practically 3 targets a sport on the street. The only cash going on Derby will be Freddie Flintoff’s.

Phil Gartside need to have had a number of jars when he appointed Gary Megson. I am all for constructive discrimination, but this move reeks of desperation. Fortunately for Bolton, West Ham have been decimated by injuries. Bolton can sneak a fortuitous draw at 5/two.

Like most people who appreciate a swift few of beers, I often battle to undress when I am the even worse for put on. I’ve now patented a machine that takes your shirt off for you immediately it’s provisionally called ‘The Carragher’. I’m all about the eleven/5 for a Blackburn win above a depleted Liverpool.

Manchester Town could have started out the time impressively, but Sven was on the receiving finish of a actual spanking at Chelsea last week. To make matters even worse, his crew then lost six- at Stamford Bridge. I feel that consequence was merely a blip Town will explode into life on bonfire evening towards Sunderland at 8/13.

Getting a persistent soul, I’ve made the decision to inquire Helen Chamberlain to accompany me to a little fireworks show. I’ve by now bought her a Catherine wheel and a rocket I just want a banger now. Aston Villa, Everton, Tottenham, Chelsea and Manchester Town kind a 13/one weekend accer that will more than cover the expense.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

Villa 4-1 Blackburn – Oh Dear God!

Villa 4-1 Blackburn – Oh Dear God!
Aston Villa’s extraordinary revival continued as inspired performances from two-objective Ashley Young and Stewart Downing enabled them to comfortably dispose of Blackburn 4-1 at Villa Park.

Ireland puts hand up for Newcastle debut
Aston Villa Newcastle United Everton On-mortgage Aston Villa midfielder Stephen Ireland is in line for a Newcastle United debut versus Everton this Saturday. Ireland could replace Joey Barton, who is nursing a thigh injuries. “Stephen really wished to play towards Bolton and now he could make his debut against Everton ,” manager Alan Pardew advised the Evening Chronicle . “It depends on Joey. Ryan is …

Villa file gentleman Bent: Carroll, Torres took strain off me
Aston Villa Fernando Torres Liverpool Chelsea Aston Villa ‘s £24 million gentleman Darren Bent reckons he’s been forgotten thanks to the deadline day mayhem. With Fernando Torres transferring to Chelsea for £50 million and Andy Carroll becoming a member of Liverpool for £35 million, Bent says his large value-tag has been forgotten. “It was mad!” Bent told the Birmingham Mail . “More so simply because of Andy Carroll’s transfer …

Wayne drops keep falling on my head

Write-up by Gerry McDonnell

I am no stranger to a lazy stereotype. I am fifty percent-Irish and I’m married to a Scot, so some people believe we keep at house all day cigarette smoking crack and peeling potatoes which is only fifty percent accurate.

It could be even worse however, I could be bald. Britney Spears was regarded as a wholesome entertainer when she had flowing locks but the minute she showed solidarity with the follicly challenged, the authorities took her children away.

It really is not just tubby Americans who persecute the hairless. When Andy Johnson had a tiny decoration on his head, he was awarded penalties and his ambitions were permitted to stand now he’s shunned like Lewis Hamilton on a weekend trip to Majorca.

Personally I assume it’s a scenario of raging gingerism, as baldness is their only genuine hope of a daily life totally free or mockery. I’ll make a stand towards these peladophobic gingerphobes by supporting AJ’s Everton at four/seven in opposition to a struggling Looking at.

Ryan Babel is another participant who deserves our sympathy. Rafa perplexingly continues to bench the flying Dutchman: the only way he’ll be promoted to a starter is if he bumps into Frank Lampard. Chelsea will devour the struggling Reds at a mouthwatering 11/10.

Harry Redknapp has hit the jackpot with the signing of Jermain Defoe. The Pompey manager is just like King Midas – it’s considered that the King’s son was a actual nause. I’ll be droning on endlessly about the 9/4 for a draw in between Bolton and Portsmouth.

Derby have been a lot much less successful with their attempts at January purchasing. Paul Jewell signed Laurent Robert on a totally free transfer I feel he overpaid. Tottenham are the weekend banker at 8/thirteen towards the awful Rams.

Birmingham had been dealt a knockout blow by a player named Villa final week, so it was a normal Derby match. It’s just one particular win in eleven matches now for the Blues West Ham appear a great shout at 17/twenty to increase the pressure on the Massive Eck.

Premier League attendances now common 36,000 a match, which is a fifty 12 months large. The figure would have threatened the 40,000 mark, if it wasn’t for Middlesbrough. One particular man and his dog will see Boro ruin Fulham at ten/11.

Roy Keane will be looking ahead to reuniting with Steve Bruce, as they haven’t seen every single other considering that filming Cinderella. I’ll flip into a pumpkin if Sunderland fail to oblige towards Wigan at 23/20.

The reduction of Agbonlahor will be a massive blow for Aston Villa. Gabby has aggravated a hamstring – he accidentally knocked his pint over. The return of Youthful will soften the blow for the Villans the tactically shrewd Martin O’Neill will bamboozle Kevin Keegan’s Toon Army at 10/eleven.

A hamstring injury has also ruled the influential Tomas Rosicky out of Arsenal’s match in opposition to Blackburn. Rosicky is known as ‘little Mozart’, because of to his ability to orchestrate the midfield. Personally, I’m a huge fan of Chopin: I typically purchase a huge bag of potatoes. I can undoubtedly handle the four/eleven for an Arsenal win above Blackburn.

Right after a protracted saga, Manchester Town have eventually signed Benjani, and I can claim with small worry of contradiction that Pompey’s loss is Manchester City’s loss. An Elano-much less, Benjani-complete Metropolis will almost certainly shed out to Manchester United at 1/three.

Wayne Rooney will pass up the Manchester derby following obtaining a booking for hurling his significant fat to the floor previous week in an alleged act of simulation. Rooney would never cheat, so I can only conclude that the referee cautioned him for his ginger stubble and an more and more receding hairline. Aston Villa, Tottenham, Everton, Middlesbrough and West Ham sort not only an exceptional sixteen/one accer it’s also a symbol of hope for our continually oppressed pool-ball headed brothers.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

Premier League Preview Show: Sept 19-20

Article by Scott Shapell

The Previous Premier League players are back again this week with one more cracking present…

Former Premier League footballers Steve Claridge and Jason Cundy are again on BetRepublic to give sports bettors the heads-up on where the betting worth lies in this weekend’s total programme of Premier League fixtures.

Members of the quick-developing sports betting local community really like to tune in to the website’s Tv channel (each Friday to see wherever the lads are putting their money).

Cundy and Claridge take viewers by means of each and every Premier League game and inform bettors how the game will be played, how a lot of ambitions will be scored and who the most likely target scorers will be.

The duo, who coincidentally both utilised to play for Portsmouth FC, offers two betting recommendations for every single sport.

They have a remarkable tipping document and sports bettors who adhere to them are previously showing a wholesome degree-stakes revenue on the time.

So which games are the pair seeking at this weekend? You can also see clips for every single sportright here . Meanwhile, here is a flavour of what to count on with a few stats and betting suggestions for the weekend of 19 th September 2009 – 20 th September 2009.

SATURDAY, 19 SEPTEMBER 2009

BURNLEY v SUNDERLANDBurnley have won their only two home games so far but go into this game on the back of three- and four- away defeats to Chelsea and Liverpool respectively. Sunderland have won 3 out of 5 league games so much and beat Hull 4-1 final weekend

Proposed Bets:Draw (twelve/five) Below 2.five goals (4/5)

ARSENAL v WIGANArsenal have won their only house game so significantly – 4-one above Portsmouth – but lost their previous two league video games against Man Utd (one-two) and Guy Metropolis (two-four), Wigan beat West Ham one- last weekend to conclude a operate of three straight defeats. Arsenal has won four out of 4 Premier League video games at property to Wigan.

Proposed Bets:Arsenal-Arsenal (eight/11) Above 3 objectives (21/twenty)

ASTON VILLA v PORTSMOUTHRight after an opening-day defeat to Wigan (-2) Villa have won 3 games on the run. Portsmouth has produced a calamitous commence, losing all 5 games and scoring just three objectives.

Proposed Bets:2-1 (15/2) and 3-1 (12/1) correct scorelines (split stakes) Above two.five objectives (17/twenty)

BOLTON v STOKEBolton defeat Stoke three-one final year but have misplaced the two property video games this period, v Sunderland (-1) and Liverpool (two-3), Stoke have won two and drawn one game against non-Big Four sides this season.

Suggested Bets:– (17/2) or 1-one (11/2) scorelines (split stakes) Under two.25 goals (39/forty)

HULL v BIRMINGHAMHull had a bad residence report final time and have won 1 (v Bolton ) and lost a single (v Tottenham) at residence this time. Birmingham have won one particular, drawn one and lost 3 of their 5 Premier League video games so considerably. Birmingham has scored just two ambitions in five games.

Suggested Bets:Draw (twelve/5) Below two.25 ambitions (37/forty)

WEST HAM v LIVERPOOLWest Ham’s games have tended to be underneath two.five ambitions considering that Gianfranco Zola took above. Liverpool has a excellent latest document at Upton Park – four wins from their last five visits.

Advised Bets:West Ham +1 Asian handicap (37/40) Under 2.5 targets (39/40)

SUNDAY, twenty SEPTEMBER 2009

Guy UTD v Guy TownMan Utd have bounced again from their one- defeat at Burnley with 4 straight victories in all competitions, scoring eleven objectives and conceding just two. Guy Town has a a hundred% report in the Premier League so considerably. Four of the last 8 conferences at Aged Trafford have ended in attracts.

Advised Bets:Draw (eleven/4) Equally teams to score (5/6)

WOLVES v FULHAMWolves have drawn one particular and misplaced a single of their two house video games. Fulham have been inconsistent: two wins and two defeats.

Advised Bets:Fulham + Asian handicap (21/20) Below two.25 goals (17/twenty)

EVERTON v BLACKBURNEverton are in the relegation zone following three defeats in four matches. Three of their four video games so far have had over 2.five targets and they have stored just one particular clean sheet, conceding nine ambitions in whole. Blackburn misplaced their opening two video games of the year but got a 3-1 win above Blackburn previous weekend following a – draw at house to West Ham. Five of the previous 6 head-to-head conferences have had less than 2.five goals.

Proposed Bets:Draw (5/2) Below two.five targets (17/20)

CHELSEA v TOTTENHAMTottenham have never ever won at Stamford Bridge in the Premier League era – eleven wins for Chelsea and six draws in 17 meetings. Nine out of 10 games involving these two sides this year have had about two.5 objectives.

Recommended Bets:More than two.5 goals (5/6) Jermain Defoe to score anytime (13/5)

Huge 3: Claridge and Cundy’s Best three BetsAston Villa v Portsmouth about 2.5 objectives (17/20) Fulham + Asian handicap at Wolves (21/20) Chelsea v Tottenham more than 2.five targets (five/6)

About the Author

I’m so amusing.. &amp considerably interested in viewing video clips, posting content &amp sharing sports activities news, wanna get into gossip on sports as well…

Aston Villa must balance books after Randy Lerner’s £200m investment: Booked net investment on players was down … http://bit.ly/fhC3A5

Aston Villa need to balance publications soon after Randy Lerner&aposs £200m investment: Booked web investment on gamers was down … http://bit.ly/fhC3A5 – by financenewscast (Tony Webber)

Villa boss Houllier insists no Holloway grudge over Adam row

Villa boss Houllier insists no Holloway grudge more than Adam row
Aston Villa Blackpool Liverpool Aston Villa boss Gerard Houllier says his variations with Blackpool counterpart Ian Holloway concerning Charlie Adam are more than. The former Liverpool boss insists he bears no grudges over Holloway’s comments that he created the interest in Adam public. Houllier stated: “I took on board the gracious words he stated yesterday and it is h2o underneath the bridge. “Wherever he is …

VILLA Transfer Aided ENGLAND CLAIMS – BENT
Darren Bent has been advised by England coach Fabio Capello that transferring to Aston Villa has enhanced his global prospects. Bent manufactured the £24million swap from Sunderland final month and speedily found himself earning a rare England commence versus Denmark in Copenhagen.

Aston Villa mindful of Reo-Coker curiosity
Gerard Houllier admits Nigel Reo-Coker is attracting interest from rival clubs. The midfielder it out of agreement at Aston Villa in the summer season, when he would be eligible to stop the Midlands outfit on a free transfer.