Tag: Hard

Thai Hard: With a Vengeance

Article by Gerry McDonnell

Tubby Brazilian Ronaldo might be one particular of the best players to at any time grace a football pitch, but he’s definitely a bad part model. The AC Milan man allow himself down when he invited three members of the late-night enjoyment industry back again to a motel. It wasn’t just the truth that they turned out to be ladyboys he shamefully offered to pay them for undertaking nothing at all. If I pay out a builder to construct a conservatory, and he brings along a few superfluous equipment, I’d anticipate him to preserve his head down and end the work.

This sorry tale was not the only circumstance of mistaken identity this week Rio Ferdinand kicked a female Chelsea steward soon after mistaking her for a wall. It sounds like a tall tale, but I when kicked the wife by accident I believed she was her mother.

This is Rio’s initial substantial profile gaffe given that that minute of madness a number of decades back, when he dated Emma Bunton. I will absolutely be dipping in to the seven/1 for a draw in between Manchester United and West Ham.

Rio wasn’t the only player involved in controversy at Stamford Bridge last week Michael Ballack and Didier Drogba nearly came to blows about a totally free kick they really should genuinely have obtained a room with Ronaldo. I can not get my head about the eleven/two for a Newcastle win above Chelsea.

The funniest second of the match came after the ultimate whistle, when the Manchester United players had a Benny Hill fashion fight with the Chelsea groundsmen. The United boys had been completely out of order Rio Ferdinand really should know by now to maintain off the grass. Middlesbrough are concerned in a genuine fight, they’ll beat Portsmouth at 11/10.

Rafa Benitez’s choice to wind up Didier Drogba prior to their Champion’s League semi will rightfully be filed alongside Ronaldo’s shemale escapades in the ‘what a massive rick’ class, but each are trumped by my determination to make a move on a waitress when I holidayed in Thailand. I won’t bore you with all the gruesome facts, but let’s just say that she wasn’t the only a single who received a big suggestion. I’m far a lot more comfy with this suggestion back again Liverpool to beat the imploding Manchester City at 8/11.

Gareth Barry is thinking about a move to Liverpool as he wishes to join a club that can match his ambition. Evidently his ambition is to complete adequately in Europe and by no means win the league. The Villa can overtake Everton for the UEFA cup spot by viewing off Wigan at 4/7.

Final week was disastrous for Birmingham Town. As the Blues threw absent a two- lead at house, Fulham had been doing miracles in Manchester and Bolton had been holding on for a point at White Hart Lane. It’s possible there is a little truth in the gypsy’s curse they should in no way have offered him to Blackburn. Fulham v Birmingham will be a cracker, I’ll explode when Fulham get the factors at 5/four.

Robbie Savage could undoubtedly forge a job in the female impersonation industry once his very best footballing days are behind him someplace in 1998. Blackburn are a far far better crew considering that they dropped the blonde deadwood they’ll beat Derby by two or more targets at five/six.

If Perusing v Tottenham produces as a lot action as the reverse fixture, it’ll be quite an entertaining game. Tottenham romped to a six-four victory at the Lane narrowly foiling my bet on ‘no goalscorer’. Studying have deteriorated considering that then they haven’t scored a goal considering that March and only Derby have a worse aim variation. If Tottenham don’t take all three points at 12/5, I’ll be far more hurt than when I woke up in Thailand with a even worse limp than Heather Mills.

All the warning signs had been there with that Thai waitress, she really warned me that she’d be bringing some nuts up to the area. I believed she meant that I’d enjoy a late night snack – regrettably, I was correct. I’m certainly proper in taking a significant slice of the 8/eleven for an Arsenal win over Everton.

I am reminded of my Thai nightmare every time I see Roy Keane’s notorious problem on Alf-Inge Haaland that was some tackle. Roy’s boys have been priced up at 11/two from Bolton, that is very, really massive.

It was very ironic that I ended up in a compromising place with a male who looked like a female, as my spouse could effortlessly pass for a builder. Aston Villa, Blackburn, Tottenham and Arsenal type a ten/one accer of which there can be completely no ambiguity.

About the Writer

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.

Live Free or Pie Hard

Report by Gerry McDonnell

When the wife was pregnant with tiny Goliath, she asked if I’d nonetheless uncover her desirable when she put on weight. “A lot more weight,” I instinctively corrected.”

It is perfectly understandable if a lady’s bodyweight yo-yo’s right after this kind of a stressful function, but with the spouse, it merely yo’d. There is no excuse for a Premiership footballer to ‘tubby up’ in such an outlandish vogue, so I wish there’s no reality to the rumours emanating from Ewood Park.

It really is alleged that a number of senior pros grew to become hooked on pie and mash throughout the summer break. If the phrase on the road is right, the players were so fixated with this culinary abomination, they saved a substantial sum of Fray Bentos pies in the club canteen.

Mark Hughes was understandably livid when he discovered the top secret stash and immediately put a lock on the freezer.

Robbie Savage regarded as the manager’s act a blatant violation of his civil liberties and threatened to depart the club if he wasn’t granted instant accessibility to the forbidden pastries. Mark Hughes stood his floor though, and refused to release the pie-key.

The 6/four for Middlesbrough to open their marketing campaign with a win over Blackburn is as delicious a deal with as anything at all locked absent in Sparky’s freezer of shame.

I was very astonished when the news broke that Robert Earnshaw had joined Derby the minor Welshman obviously misunderstood when asked if he would like to join the Rams. Earnie can support Derby get a position off Pompey at nine/4.

Roy Keane was a fierce competitor on the pitch: he went by way of far more footballers than Gemma Atkinson. He’ll require the very same fighting spirit from his staff when they face a formidable Tottenham side I’m tucking in to the Spuds at 13/10.

Newcastle have gone down the multinational street in their lookup for new signings. Large Sam has signed a Brazilian, a Spaniard, a Cameroonian, a Czech, an Aussie, an Englishman and a Scouser. It wouldn’t surprise me if he made a move for the promising Russian worldwide, Ivan Terbungoutofit. The Premier League laptop or computer has mischievously sent Newcastle to Bolton for their opening fixture Massive Sam has it in the bag at 2/one.

I have a whole lot of faith in Andy ‘Magic’ Johnson, even though he’s yet to grasp the ‘staying on his feet’ trick. I’ll be generating the eight/eleven for an Everton win more than Wigan vanish.

If given the choice to play for Chelsea at Stamford Bridge or symbolize a George Bush eleven in Iran, I’d possibly plump for the latter as the threat of injuries diminishes considerably. Jose should be cursed I’m taking Birmingham at 11/two to snatch a shock draw.

I’m locating it difficult to choose a winner in the West Ham v Manchester City match. I asked the spouse for her view, but she’s also sitting on the fence. I’m now praying for the draw at 9/4, as I need money for a new fence.

Aston Villa supporters could not be happier with the progress manufactured by Randy Lerner and Martin O’Neill. The giant might even now be sleeping, but he’s becoming poked with a pointy stick. Villa are overpriced at 3/one to kick the time off with a win about Liverpool.

Fulham followers must be devastated. Mohammed Al Fayed gave his manager the green mild to signal established internationals and Sanchez tucked him up on a technicality. The Cottagers have by no means won absent at Arsenal the Gooners are the weekend banker at four/11.

I was disturbed to examine that Wayne Rooney has outrageously had his chest waxed. There’s absolutely nothing incorrect with connecting with your feminine facet, but only when you are trying to uncover shelter for the little beard-hunter. There’s absolutely nothing camp about the 1/4 for a Manchester United win more than Looking at.

I just hope Ryan Giggs doesn’t stick to Rooney’s lead, as the repercussions of dwindling wax reserves could prove catastrophic for little corporations. A minor accer on Tottenham, Aston Villa, Arsenal and Manchester United at 13/1 will provide a lifeline to those most under risk.

About the Author

Gerry McDonnell dabbles in football odds compilation, journalism and orphan rescue.